9.1

Today I found myself back at Hope Hospital. The difference was that this time, I had voluntarily scheduled an appointment with the Department of Psychological Medicine.

Why? Because over the years, various laypeople—and even healthcare workers from certain departments—had suggested that my problems might be psychological in nature. They kept telling me that I should try the expensive mind-body therapy programs available only at major hospitals in first-tier cities.

Eventually, I got tired of hearing it. At the same time, it would have been impolite to tell them, “I think the real issue might be your educational background.” So I decided to consult a psychiatrist and obtain a Psychiatric Clearance proving that the reason my chronic symptoms lingered was not some hidden psychological problem.

As for which hospital to choose, the answer was obvious. Hope Hospital was my first choice. I came here all the time, and all of my medical records were already in their system.

The moment I stepped out of the elevator, guess who I ran into? Dr. Sweet.

Dr. Sweet: Well, look who it is. Long time no see. I heard Director Woo from IT got completely neutralized by your Summoning Jutsu. So, who are you following up with this time?

Patrick: Believe it or not, I’m here to see the Department of Psychological Medicine. I want an evaluation proving that my condition isn’t psychosomatic. I booked an appointment with the Chief Physician, but his name is written in Tibetan script and I have no idea how to pronounce it.

Dr. Sweet: Good grief. Why would you come to our hospital for psychiatry? Llama is not an easy person to deal with.

Patrick: What, is he like Dr. Cold? Does he enjoy prescribing a truckload of drugs that wreck your body?

Dr. Sweet: It’s not that simple. He’s Dr. Divine’s favorite and the hospital’s Top Producer. But aside from the director, almost everyone on the staff avoids him. His office is all the way at the end of that corridor. Around here, that hallway is known as Blackcloak Alley. People go out of their way to avoid walking through it, and whatever you do, don’t make eye contact with him.

[fig 01]

Patrick: So he’s basically a witch doctor? Does he use some obscure ethnic healing ritual to impress people?

Dr. Sweet: It’s more complicated than that. You’ve already crossed paths with Director Woo, haven’t you? As head of the IT department, he can see everyone’s metrics.

Patrick: That’s true. As far as I know, the only networks beyond the IT department’s surveillance are Dr. Divine’s office and his private laboratory.

Dr. Sweet: Llama is even more concerning. Legend has it that the moment you make eye contact with him, he can see your Birth Chart and Fate Profile, your family background, and all kinds of measurable indicators. Not just your psychological issues. Honestly, who reaches adulthood without a few psychological issues? The question is whether those issues are worth letting Llama see straight through you. At least around here, none of the staff dare seek treatment from him. Forget therapy—we don’t even want him seeing any metrics associated with us.

Patrick: Yeah, that does sound awkward. Compared to him, Director Woo suddenly seems pretty harmless.

Dr. Sweet: You could always cancel the appointment and get your evaluation from another hospital.

Patrick: No chance. My time is valuable. One trip to the hospital already eats up half a day. All I need is a document. It shouldn’t be that difficult.

Dr. Sweet: Sigh… suit yourself. Some things you have to experience firsthand before you’ll understand. There’s a reason he’s the Top Producer.

Patrick: With the Chakra you’ve taught me and the Summoning Jutsu I’ve recently learned, he shouldn’t be able to do much to me, right?

Dr. Sweet: It won’t help. Chakra interactions only work when you’re dealing with ninjutsu. His genjutsu (illusion jutsu) is the best in the entire hospital. Compared to him, the little brainwashing tricks Dr. Superior used to pull are just amateur-ish.

Patrick: Some people really are born with certain gifts. Now you’ve made me even more curious.

Dr. Sweet: Good luck. And remember, if anything starts to feel wrong, go to their general clinic and ask for the Associate Chief Physician for help.

With that warning, I slowly walked into Blackcloak Alley, scanned my barcode at the check-in station, and pushed open the door to the specialist clinic.f

9.2

[fig 02]

The man sitting before me was dressed entirely in black and wore a face covering. At first glance, I almost mistook him for Alan Walker.

He stared at me intently. His eyes looked as though he were wearing colored contact lenses. I strongly suspected that he had inherited the Rinnegan.

One moment he studied the crystal ball in his hand with a troubled expression. The next moment he focused on me, making me increasingly uneasy.

Llama: So, how can I help you today?

Patrick: I have a number of chronic musculoskeletal issues that many specialists have failed to resolve. The symptoms keep coming back. A lot of people have suggested that the root cause is psychological, but I believe that even if psychological factors exist, they’re secondary rather than primary. I’d like your professional opinion. If possible, I’d also like an evaluation. My thinking is that if even a psychiatric specialist agrees that my condition isn’t caused by psychological issues, then I can cite your opinion whenever people question me.

A sly smile appeared on his face, strangely reminiscent of Dr. Good.

Llama: Heh. Most of the people I see have both psychological and physical issues. The two influence each other. As for certifying that your condition definitely isn’t psychological… I don’t think we offer that service. All I can do is evaluate, diagnose, and treat according to standard procedure.

Patrick: So you want to start with an assessment? History-taking, observation, the usual process? That’s fair. I understand procedures have to be followed. My time is limited, though.

The moment I finished speaking, our eyes met. His Rinnegan suddenly began to rotate.

My body froze. I immediately realized what was happening.

Just as Dr. Sweet had warned me. He was reading me.

Llama: Interesting. You were a rebellious child. Questionable family background. Poor relationship with your parents. Poor relationship with relatives. STEM background. Dislikes teachers. Especially humanities teachers. Looks down on liberal arts majors. My goodness. Still rebellious in college. Did your capstone project in another department. New Oriental. TOEFL. GRE. Individualist. Human rights. Why is your head full of Western terminology I can’t even read? Hm? Japanese words too? Taiwanese. Malaysian. Canadian. Egyptian. Wait, Syrian? Saudi? Hold on… isn’t this from the Bible? Mormonism? What? Your former employer was Syrian? Dislikes academia? Never mind, I don’t care about that.

He continued scanning.

Llama: Chronic pain, tendon injuries, herniated discs, sciatic nerve, orthotic inserts, ultrasound, CT, MRI, PT, manual therapy, PRP, Dr. Sarno, shockwave therapy, endoscopy, probiotics, TCM, essential oils, orthotics…

He frowned.

Llama: What is all this?

Then his eyes widened.

Llama: You know Dr. Good? Wait… you’re the one responsible for Dr. Brandon Superior’s death? Oh? You even defeated Gary Woo? And you know about the relationship between him and Dr. Superior? You have Dr. Sweet’s Chakra now? Dr. Divine’s grandson bites people? What else is in here? Bad landlord?

He lowered the crystal ball.

Llama: Good grief. Your file is absurdly complicated. I can’t even interpret half of this. Most of it falls completely outside my field of expertise. In all my years of practice, I’ve never encountered a patient this troublesome.

Patrick: Let’s not get distracted. I just want to know whether my soft-tissue injuries are actually related to psychological factors. And some of my female friends keep recommending craniosacral therapy. They keep telling me to let go of my attachments or something.

A golden flash appeared in Llama’s eyes.

He looked at the crystal ball, then at me, and once again displayed that sly smile.

[fig 03]

Llama: Everything is connected. Surely you’ve studied philosophy before. How could your soft-tissue injuries possibly be unrelated to your psychological state? Your life experiences are unusually complicated. Naturally, your mind is complicated as well. Eventually, the body ends up carrying that burden.

Patrick: How so?

Llama: Through the nervous system. Blood flow. The immune system. The human body is a complex network.

Patrick: Never mind. I’ll just go see a traditional Chinese medicine doctor for holistic treatment. This isn’t really your specialty anyway.

Llama: But some of it is my specialty. Your ideology has problems.

Patrick: My ideology?

Llama: Your sense of self is too strong. You need to learn to let go of the self and adapt to your environment. Outside the collective, you’re nothing. When I was young, I was rebellious too. I hated being controlled. I even carried knives when I went out. But eventually I matured. I learned how to get along with people. I learned how to manage relationships. I learned how to wear different masks for different situations, especially around leaders and their families. Not only did I take refuge in Buddhism, I also learned how to guide and enlighten young people. I was even planning to become a Party member. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a sponsor.

Patrick: Give me a break. The things I dislike most are authority, hierarchy, and people demanding loyalty. When people talk about “the collective,” what they really mean is the range that’s relevant to their KPI. The people above you always get to define what the collective means. Try listing another teacher as your advisor on an official form and see how quickly they make your life miserable.

Llama: What can you do? That’s the environment we live in. Society needs stability. We believe that when you arrive somewhere, you should learn to settle in. Once you stop resisting and accept whatever is available to you, people will accept you. Your stress level drops, and your symptoms improve.

I thought to myself: As expected. A witch doctor. He sounds about as sophisticated as my biological father.

Llama: Another thing—you spend too much time analyzing problems. And you really shouldn’t question healthcare professionals so much. The more you think, the more miserable you become. Most things don’t need perfect answers. Life isn’t perfect. Learn to indulge yourself once in a while. Feel more and think less. Stop overusing your brain. Stop clinging so tightly to your beliefs. Lower your expectations of yourself and others. Take a few chances. Accept what fate gives you. You work incredibly hard, and it probably feels meaningful. But when you’re dead, everything becomes nothing.

I thought to myself: This guy feels like a salesman from one of those profit-driven private hospital chains. He doesn’t sound like a therapist, and he certainly doesn’t sound like a psychiatrist.

Patrick: Can you actually give me the evaluation I came here for?

Llama: See? You’re too goal-oriented. Learn to relax. Your condition would improve significantly if you did.

Patrick: Then tell me what disease I have. Do you even know?

Llama: Ah, the diagnosis comes later. First I organize the information. Then I help integrate your ideology.

Patrick: What? You’re trying to interfere with my ideology now? You’re a physician. What gives you the authority—or the ability—to do that?

Llama: Heh. You’re becoming defensive again. You need to lower your guard. Let’s talk gradually. Give it a few weeks. I’m sure you’ll notice results.

Patrick: A few weeks? So I get to send even more money to the hospital?

Llama: Haven’t you already sent quite a lot of money to our hospital? You’ve just never spent any of it in my department. Better late than never.

He leaned forward.

Llama: Listen. You need to let go of some of the ideas you’ve been clinging to. Real life isn’t scientific research. You don’t need to understand everything. You don’t need to personally verify everything. You don’t need to independently think through everything. Stop worrying so much about privacy. Learn to open up to strangers. Listen to other people’s advice and feedback. Most people genuinely mean well. Most people in this world are good people. We’re experienced adults. We aren’t going to harm you.

He continued.

Llama: Stop researching so much. Stop reading highly specialized books. Read something light. Watch some short Tiktok videos. Many things in life simply can’t be verified. Sometimes it’s better to believe than to doubt. And everyone should have a system of faith. Otherwise life becomes exhausting.

He smiled.

Llama: Tibetan Buddhism is always open to you.

I thought to myself: How could this man’s worldview be so completely opposite to everything my mentors taught me? If someone like this gets to play the role of an expert for an entire career, how many people’s thinking will he mislead?

Patrick: I appreciate the offer, but I’ll pass. I joined Christianity more than a decade ago and left it. Once was enough.

Llama: Western religions are no match for our own Eastern religions. Ours is closer to philosophy, not a religion crowded with gods. Read more Buddhist scriptures. Compared to the grand scheme of things, your aches and pains are insignificant. And another thing—be more like me. Focus on positive information. Filter out negative information that has nothing to do with you. Given your family’s financial situation, you’re already living quite comfortably in this city. Stop comparing yourself to people elsewhere.

I thought to myself: This guy can really talk. No wonder he’s the Top Producer. Dr. Divine loves bringing in people like him—people who can’t solve problems but can sell treatment packages. And this man is somehow the Chief Physician of the Department of Psychological Medicine.

Patrick: Since you can’t provide the service I’m looking for, I think I’ll leave. The people I respect least are those who can’t solve problems, lack the courage to stand up against wrongdoing, yet still insist on lecturing everyone else about how they should think.

His expression darkened.

His voice dropped into a lower register.

Llama: Wait.

Llama: We could try hypnosis. You’ve already paid for the consultation, after all. I’d feel bad letting you leave empty-handed. It’s a quiet afternoon. I’ll give you a session free of charge. No additional fee.

Patrick: Hypnosis? You’ve already read my information. You probably even saw my Birth Chart and Fate Profile. What else do you need hypnosis for?

Llama: My hypnosis isn’t the kind Freud practiced a century ago. You won’t fall asleep. Only in a hypnotic state can you truly lower your defenses. Then I can determine whether your condition is genuinely unrelated to your psyche.

Another sly smile appeared.

Llama: Who knows? I might even be able to give you that certificate you’re looking for.

I glanced suspiciously at my watch. 20 minutes had already passed. Would there really be enough time today? I stretched casually and pretended to yawn.

Patrick: You’ve got ten minutes. Go ahead and give it a try.

9.3

Llama began chanting.

It might have been Sanskrit. I couldn’t understand a single word. To me, it sounded no different from the chanting you would hear in an ordinary temple.

His eyes rotated sometimes clockwise, and sometimes counterclockwise. He repeatedly reminded me to follow his rhythm and breathe deeply.

Before long, I felt as though he was trying to tell me something.

What was it? I still couldn’t understand. All I could see were endless strings of numbers spinning before my eyes.

Llama: Feeling relaxed yet?

Patrick: I think so.

Llama: Do you still feel the urge to resist?

Patrick: It depends.

Llama: No, no. Still too rational. Let’s try again. Do you still feel the urge to solve your problems yourself?

Patrick: You can’t rely entirely on doctors…

Llama: No. How is this guy still resisting? Let’s try again. Do you want to solve the problem at its source?

Patrick: Don’t start psychoanalyzing me. At the moment, I only have time for CBT (cognitive behavior therapy).

Llama: Huh? Why aren’t you entering the proper state? I’ve already hypnotized you. How are you still aware enough to resist?

Patrick: I’m not resisting. I just prefer to discuss things on their own merits.

Llama: That’s not right. Let me ask you something else. Would you be willing to come back for more sessions?

Patrick: How many sessions?

Llama: That’s not right either. Most people would just answer yes or no. Why is he responding with a complex question? Let’s switch to a binary choice question. A full course is ten sessions. Half a course is five. Which would you prefer?

Patrick: Come on. I’ve studied these sales tactics before. They’re in Influence written by Dr. Cialdini.

Llama: What? You’re still doing pattern recognition? I only gave you two options! Is something wrong with your brain? Why isn’t my hypnosis working on you?

Patrick: It is working. My body’s all limp right now, and I’m feeling pretty sleepy. I’d say I’m definitely in the state you’re aiming for.

Suddenly, my fitness tracker vibrated and jolted me awake from the hallucination.

[fig 04]

Patrick: Sorry. If I sit for 30 minutes without standing up, my tracker reminds me to get up and walk around for a few minutes. It’s supposed to improve circulation.

Llama: What? What kind of thing are you wearing? All that effort for nothing. I was this close to succeeding.

I stood up, stretched, and yawned.

Patrick: Maybe we should call it a day. I’d like to get home early. We can always do this another time.

Llama: No. I haven’t met my quota today. How am I supposed to explain that to Dr. Divine? Hmph.

End of part 1.

This is a creative project inspired by the traditions of Eastern shonen manga and Western comics and cinematic storytelling.
All characters, abilities, and world elements are original creations.
Any similarities to existing works are coincidental or intended as respectful homage, without any claim of ownership or affiliation.
I’m open to legitimate collaboration on various levels.