philosophy

Adventures with the Medical Ninjas – Episode 09: Llama, the Psychic Shrink pt.1.

Stanley O'Shea / July 1, 2026

9.1 Today I found myself back at Hope Hospital. The difference was that this time, I had voluntarily scheduled an appointment with the Department of Psychological Medicine. Why? Because over the years, various laypeople—and even healthcare workers from certain departments—had suggested that my problems might be psychological in nature. They kept telling me that I should try the expensive mind-body therapy programs available only at major hospitals in first-tier cities. Eventually, I got tired of hearing it. At the same time, it would have been impolite to tell them, “I think the real issue might be your educational background.” So I decided to consult a psychiatrist and obtain a Psychiatric Clearance proving that the reason my chronic symptoms lingered was not some hidden psychological problem. As for which hospital to choose, the answer was obvious. Hope Hospital was my first choice. I came here all the time, and all of my medical records were already in their system. The moment I stepped out of the elevator, guess who I ran into? Dr. Sweet. Dr. Sweet: Well, look who it is. Long time no see. I heard Director Woo from IT got completely neutralized by your Summoning Jutsu. So, who are you following up with this time? Patrick: Believe it or not, I’m here to see the Department of Psychological Medicine. I want an evaluation proving that my condition isn’t psychosomatic. I booked an appointment with the Chief Physician, but his name is written in Tibetan script and I have no idea how to pronounce it. Dr. Sweet: Good grief. Why would you come to our hospital for psychiatry? Llama is not an easy person to deal with. Patrick: What, is he like Dr. Cold? Does he enjoy prescribing a truckload of drugs that wreck your body? Dr. Sweet: It’s not that simple. He’s Dr. Divine’s favorite and the hospital’s Top Producer. But aside from the director, almost everyone on the staff avoids him. His office is all the way at the end of that corridor. Around here, that hallway is known as Blackcloak Alley. People go out of their way to avoid walking through it, and whatever you do, don’t make eye contact with him. [fig 01] Patrick: So he’s basically a witch doctor? Does he use some obscure ethnic healing ritual to impress people? Dr. Sweet: It’s more complicated than that. You’ve already crossed paths with Director Woo, haven’t you? As head of the IT department, he can see everyone’s metrics. Patrick: That’s true. As far as I know, the only networks beyond the IT department’s surveillance are Dr. Divine’s office and his private laboratory. Dr. Sweet: Llama is even more concerning. Legend has it that the moment you make eye contact with him, he can see your Birth Chart and Fate Profile, your family background, and all kinds of measurable indicators. Not just your psychological issues. Honestly, who reaches adulthood without a few psychological issues? The question is whether those issues are worth letting Llama see straight through you. At least around here, none of the staff dare seek treatment from him. Forget therapy—we don’t even want him seeing any metrics associated with us. Patrick: Yeah, that does sound awkward. Compared to him, Director Woo suddenly seems pretty harmless. Dr. Sweet: You could always cancel the appointment and get your evaluation from another hospital. Patrick: No chance. My time is valuable. One trip to the hospital already eats up half a day. All I need is a document. It shouldn’t be that difficult. Dr. Sweet: Sigh… suit yourself. Some things you have to experience firsthand before you’ll understand. There’s a reason he’s the Top Producer. Patrick: With the Chakra you’ve taught me and the Summoning Jutsu I’ve recently learned, he shouldn’t be able to do much to me, right? Dr. Sweet: It won’t help. Chakra interactions only work when you’re dealing with ninjutsu. His genjutsu (illusion jutsu) is the best in the entire hospital. Compared to him, the little brainwashing tricks Dr. Superior used to pull are just amateur-ish. Patrick: Some people really are born with certain gifts. Now you’ve made me even more curious. Dr. Sweet: Good luck. And remember, if anything starts to feel wrong, go to their general clinic and ask for the Associate Chief Physician for help. With that warning, I slowly walked into Blackcloak Alley, scanned my barcode at the check-in station, and pushed open the door to the specialist clinic.f 9.2 [fig 02] The man sitting before me was dressed entirely in black and wore a face covering. At first glance, I almost mistook him for Alan Walker. He stared at me intently. His eyes looked as though he were wearing colored contact lenses. I strongly suspected that he had inherited the Rinnegan. One moment he studied the crystal ball in his hand with a troubled expression. The next moment he focused on me, making me increasingly uneasy. Llama: So, how can I help you today? Patrick: I have a number of chronic musculoskeletal issues that many specialists have failed to resolve. The symptoms keep coming back. A lot of people have suggested that the root cause is psychological, but I believe that even if psychological factors exist, they’re secondary rather than primary. I’d like your professional opinion. If possible, I’d also like an evaluation. My thinking is that if even a psychiatric specialist agrees that my condition isn’t caused by psychological issues, then I can cite your opinion whenever people question me. A sly smile appeared on his face, strangely reminiscent of Dr. Good. Llama: Heh. Most of the people I see have both psychological and physical issues. The two influence each other. As for certifying that your condition definitely isn’t psychological… I don’t think we offer that service. All I can do is evaluate, diagnose, and treat according to standard procedure. Patrick: So you want to start with an assessment? History-taking, observation, the usual process? That’s fair. I understand procedures have to be followed. My time is limited, though.

health, media, philosophy

Medical ninjas EP N3 Dr Warm : the Quincy descendent who activates the Cosmo pt.2

Stanley O'Shea / September 25, 2025

Part 2 Dr. Warm: Hahahaha. Lift your shirt a little more; I must make sure the Cosmo doesn’t spread to your myocardium.I: Are you saying you can’t fix my fragile little heart with your therapeutic guns? fig 5 Dr. Warm: Currently there’s no clinical trial data showing spiritual power is safe for the myocardium. There’s sufficient evidence for blood vessels, nerves, skeletal and smooth muscle, though.I: Why hasn’t anyone researched the heart muscle?Dr. Warm: Because people with heart problems don’t come to our department. To repair that tissue directly they’d rather go to surgery. We won’t mess with it without data.I: In Bleach’s worldview, once the heart dies, even spiritual power and many supernatural forces can hardly save it.Dr. Warm: That’s true. Our department has its limits. We’re not in the business of making money off people’s desperation.I: But why were your two guns aimed right at that woman’s belly?Dr. Warm: She had back pain, and she’s been here many times. The gun mode and bullet type used on her are different from what we’ll use on you. Bullets are personalized via our machine settings — we first forge them with individualized parameters, then load them into the guns.I: Never mind — I won’t ask for details. According to your theory, a lot of energy is probably wasted in that kind of shooting.Dr. Warm: Not at all. My bullets have a trace-back property to living tissue; they don’t get wasted in empty space. Besides, they’re particles — not energy.I: Oh — I thought you fired positive and negative energy simultaneously.Dr. Warm: Energy is always positive. What’s a “negative energy”? That’s not a scientific term, but a liberal-arts invention. I choose to ignore it.I: It’s about controlling the “narrative” — to manufacture a prosper-looking public by labeling all whistleblowers as “negative energy spreaders”.Dr. Warm: History always moves forward while looping back.I: Yes — a spiral curve can be described by polar parametric equations.Dr. Warm: Hahahaha. Some are worse: whatever helps them is “positive energy”; whatever harms their interests is “negative energy.” Interests are relative. What benefits the Democrats likely harms the Republicans. If someone gets murdered, opponents call it a victory — “positive energy” — while his supporters call it tragedy — “negative energy.” Fig CK I: You really are an expert. Your theories can be complete and even branch out. Last time an “expert” from Smoke City lectured me about primary and secondary contradictions; I was convinced — but the side effects of her treatment plan were huge and I needed 2 practitioners and 6 courses of traditional herbal medicine to recover. Heh.Dr. Warm: I won’t comment on others. My specialty project, I’ve studied thoroughly. Many other hospitals come to me for training on this. Heh.I: What exactly is my body’s current status? If I put my hand in, will it disappear?Dr. Warm: You can try. I: Whoa! Hahaha!Dr. Warm: That segment of your hand right now has been assimilated by your core Cosmo.I: Then I shouldn’t be shaking hands with people for a while.Dr. Warm: Right. If you shake hands the Cosmo’s reparative capacity for you is weakened — the Cosmo’s spiritual power goes to others.I: I’ll avoid touching people then.Dr. Warm: Yes — put your shirt back on and wear gloves if possible. That’s it for today. Once your Cosmo is fully absorbed, next time we’ll proceed deeper.I: You mean you can treat foot pain directly next time?Dr. Warm: Well… we’ll re-evaluate when you come back.I: Heh heh heh heh. After leaving the treatment room I bumped into that big fish again — oh wait, that’s the woman who had back pain. I: Hey — your belly has a Cosmo too.Inoue: Right. After each therapy session the Cosmo expands and then shrinks.I: It really resembles the cycles of the universe.Inoue: According to Dr. Warm, the Cosmo is really a projection of the greater universe’s power into the unit circle, which, in this case, is the human body.I: Dr. Warm said you have back pain. Is it from sitting at an office a long time or carrying a baby for too long?Inoue: Neither. I’m an athlete — lumbar muscle strain is normal for my profession.I: To be honest, you don’t look like an athlete.Inoue: I do synchronized swimming, also known as artistic swimming.I: Many people tell me swimming is safe and gentle on joints. But being easy on joints doesn’t mean it won’t strain muscles.Inoue: Right — athletes can even have herniated discs.I: What’s your family name? Maybe I’ve seen you on TV.Inoue: Inoue.I: So is your ancestor Orihime Inoue or Kazuhiko Inoue?Inoue: Haha, the former, apparently.I: So you must know those Soul Reapers and Quincies very well.Inoue: Dr. Warm and I met in our university.I: So you probably get preferential access here because you’re an acquaintance?Inoue: Who said that? I paid in full. This type of treatment isn’t covered by insurance yet. I came to him because he’s a friend and I trust he won’t do me harm.I thought to myself: Not doing you harm is certain — but whether he’ll gouge you, I don’t know. Familiarity is a double-edged sword. From what I observed, he treated you differently from how he treated me; even I as an outsider could tell.I: But isn’t it awkward with a friend treating you?Inoue: Of course. That’s why I turned into a fish. Their department used to have a female doctor who went away this month to study.I: I came because of their expensive machine.Inoue: Right — you come to a top-tier hospital to save worry. If you’d gone to an average hospital, maybe you’d only get fifty to sixty percent better and still have to come here.I: According to Bleach’s character attributes, you should naturally have medical superpowers.Inoue: I do, but without specialized training you won’t reach professional levels. It needs both genes and training. Several in my family work in medical or fitness fields. But I don’t want my fate decided only by genes — I wanted to pick